Self-sufficiency

18 January 2015 

Chocolate Bunny applauds (although his ability to make clapping noises is somewhat hampered by his furry mittens) the major use of the Joyfallee veggie garden – which is to grow magnificent thistles expressly for his enjoyment. 

Would-be famous rat

Following in the paw prints of Spaghetti Rat and Pizza Rat comes Bits-That-Fall-Off-the-Bird-Feeding-Tray Rat. He is pretty pleased to have found an apartment with an alfresco dining café at the front door. With Christmas just around the corner, he is rather hoping the café menu might be adjusted to suit the season, so that he can become known as Bits-of-Plum-Pudding-and-Mince-Pies-That-Fall-Off-the-Bird-Feeding-Tray Rat.  If appearances are anything to go by, his penchant for café dining may have him applying for the next season of The Biggest Loser.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHgcdiZIIiE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPXUG8q4jKU

Post graduate qualifications

Spurred on by past taunts of being “too pigeony”, the crested pigeons took up night classes in How to Be a Pathologist, and are now supplementing their income with shifts at Douglass Hanly Moir. In their conversations at the water-cooler, they have casually bandied about terms like “intraductal papilloma”, to the bemusement of their feathery compatriots, who are more used to discussing topics along the lines of “Which couple won The Block”.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-11-20/pigeons-trained-to-detect-breast-cancer/6958102

Revelation of the saporific kind

16 January 2015

Etoile Filante is delighted to discover the joys of camembert. She intends to submit a restaurant review to Eatability, explaining that the food at Joyfallee is good quality and the service friendly, but that the plating-up leaves a lot to be desired.

Next stop The Block!

15 January 2015

After 56 years on the planet I have finally learnt how successfully to replace a tap washer (thanks YouTube!)……ridiculously pleased with this accomplishment.

The Egg-Laying Games

3 January 2015

Princess Sparkles has rapidly emerged as the new top chook. She has sought to cement her position by instituting a New Year competition: Layer of the LARGEST-EGG-EVER at Joyfallee. She is fairly sure she will emerge the victor, having just laid a 91 gram egg. Seriously handicapped by their stature, Hildegarde von Joyfallee and Theodora are frantically scouring the rules to see if they can enter as a pair, thereby adding the weight of their eggs together.

Princess Sparkles has remained unmoved and declared that the concept of chook-weight-to-egg- ratio is not included in her rules – she accepts that this may be assessed as unfair by the wider community, but points out that this unlevel playing field  should  be seen as a metaphor for life (as it can be seen, chickens are nothing if not amateur philosophers). 

Effigy

29 December 2014

Chocolate Bunny is very pleased to find he has been immortalised in wood. He does, however, wonder if the immortalisation could have been in something a little more upmarket, such as a sculpture at the entrance to the Louvre, rather than a toilet brush in the loo. 

Fitness classes now in session

21 December 2014

Having mastered the art of not getting squashed under the blow up ball (by dint of mad scrabbling to stay on top, which he hopes will be interpreted as engaging his rabbity core), Chocolate Bunny has launched Pilates classes at Joyfallee. The first class, held in the lounge room, was somewhat of a fiasco. Willo wreaked havoc attempting  complicated moves between the lounge chairs and the coffee table. He has consequently been relegated to practising in his yard (a task which mostly sees him falling asleep mid-exercise). The chickens have been banned outright from further classes. They refused to take the whole thing seriously and spent the entire lesson up the back in various attitudes of ROFC (Rolling on the Floor Cackling). 

Personal hygiene

10 December 2014

Having failed miserably at instructing his little mate in the art of rabbit showjumping, Chocolate Bunny is trying to instil in him the finer points of personal grooming. He is at pains to point out the importance of ear cleaning to ensure that the peeling of a banana can be heard at a distance of at least 6 kilometres. 

Sweet dreams

7 December 2014

Chocolate Bunny is dreaming of a buntastic Christmas. He has put in a request for any iphone app that will, at the touch of a paw, deliver truckloads of bananas to the front door. 

Renovations

3 December 2014

In anticipation of a bevy of artists descending on Joyfallee, Le Cadeau has decided the place could do with a spruce up, and is attempting to install a water feature. He insists that no thanks are needed, he is merely trying to do his bit – although he does admit if a stray carrot was offered in appreciation, he would be hard-pressed to say no.  

Sorrow

29 November 2014

Fare thee well The Snork Maiden. After a short illness, the decision had to be made today to end her life. She wore the mantle of Top Chook with a level of benevolence that bore testament to her gentle soul. 

Fame

12 November14

Chocolate Bunny has  caught a whiff of a rumour that he, along with the other residents of Joyfallee, is to be featured in an art exhibition in Dubbo. He is taking every opportunity to catch up on his beauty sleep in order to look his rabbity best for what he anticipates will be the arrival of arty types at the gates of Joyfallee. He is happily excited about the prospect of being not only a member of the rabbit chapter of Mensa (although in truth he is yet to receive a response to his application) but also an Artist’s Muse. He has sent word to Theodora that she should organise a competent feather-dresser post haste if she is to stand any chance of being immortalised on canvas. 

Bad Feather Day

5 November 2014

Theodora is having a bad feather day. Frustrated by the lack of a decent feather-dresser at Joyfallee, she decided to take matters into her own claws and create her own wet-weather style. The result has forced her to the conclusion that she would not be able to give up her day job (as layer of the world’s smallest eggs) to enter the lofty realm of chicken feather design. 

A Genius

12 October 2014

Pleased to have mastered the art of responding to the commands of “sit up” and “spin” (..or, more accurately, responding to the presence of sultanas in the immediate proximity of his nose), Chocolate Bunny is in the process of applying for membership of Mensa. 

Optimism

6 October 2014

In contravention of his usually pessimistic nature, Will O’ the Wisp applies his best method acting skills to “become” a gum tree – in the expectation of avoiding detection by The Dressage Rider. Sadly for him, despite practising on an almost daily basis, his efforts are yet to prove successful. He does, however, intend to persevere, and wonders if a little gentle swaying in the breeze would add to the overall tree effect, and see him enjoying a day in the paddock, uninterrupted by a session on the dressage arena. 

Disappointment

4 September 2014

Sifting through the holiday unpacking, Chocolate Bunny is horrified by the dawning realisation that not even one souvenir involves anything even remotely resembling a French banana or carrot. Once he has listened to a few more French learning pod casts, he is intending to phone Le Brun et Blanc Lapin, who occupies the apartment in Tours, to check if any baggage has been left behind.

                                      Le Brun et Blanc Lapin de Tours

The Chicken Diaries goes arty - opening night!

The opening night of the Fresh Arts Chicken Diaries Art Exhibition was a wonderland of chickens, rabbits and other sundry Joyfalleeans, artists and audience woven into the exhibition hall of Dundullimal Homestead. With people viewing the art, reading the stories, and  letting fly with their artistic flair at the colouring-in table, it was a warm and joyous evening.

During our visit to Dubbo, Chocolate Bunny and I had the privilege of meeting some of the artists, who are as lovely as their artworks (and these are VERY lovely!). From the beginning to its fruition, the Fresh Arts exhibition has been an inspiring combination of talent and goodwill, with the artist joining wholeheartedly into the spirit of collaboration and fun that originally sprang from the Chicken Diaries posts and Facebook friends’ comments.

The walls of the exhibition hall are now home to a beautiful melange of artworks depicting the residents of Joyfallee in mediums and styles as colourful and quirky as the residents themselves.

The exhibition will be on display until 8 September….so there is still time to see it and to become the proud owner of one or more virtual chickens before they flap out the door.

A 2016 Chicken Diaries calendar has been produced from artworks and stories in the exhibition. These can be purchased for AU$29 plus postage, with profits to the Royal Flying Doctor Service. To order copies, email manoah3@gmail.com (thankfully Chocolate Bunny does not have access to this email in-box, as his enthusiasm is not matched by his reliability). 

Egg-layer and thrill-seeker

10 August 2014

In what she thinks is a stroke of utter brilliance, Etiole Filante has set up a nest in Willo's stable. It would appear that when she completed her work health and safety assessment sheet the principal stable resident was absent. Either that or she is a risk taker of the ilk of Evel Knievel... and things didn't always go well for him.

Good things come in small packages

30 July 2014

Theodora is very proud of her accomplishment in laying her first egg, weighing in at 32 gm. She is at pains to make it known that it is quality not quantity that counts. The 22 egg omelette may become a specialty at Joyfallee.

Housework

11 July 2014

Never a rabbit to shy away from hard work, Chocolate Bunny endeavours to make sure his friends are as clean as he is (…no mean feat in the case of one particular friend who is routinely to be found coated in liberal quantities of horse hair, rabbit fur and chicken feathers). 

Working from home

2 July 2014

Having accessed an online short course in keyboard typing, Chocolate Bunny is contemplating the fact that, no matter how many times he counts them, he only has four digits per paw, and is having trouble with those space bar manoeuvres. He is also a little mystified by the fact that the course suggests the use of only two paws, when he believes he could effectively utilise all four. He is now carrying out an advanced Google search to locate a rabbit-specific typing course.  

Dawn enchantment

What a delightful way to start the day – to be greeted by the ever enthusiastic Chocolate Bunny with his characteristic run of laps around and around my feet as a sign of his affection (..don’t ask – it’s a rabbit thing), followed by a vigorous bunny flop on his side and legs in the air as the ultimate sign of bunny bliss. This cutest creature in the entire universe just melts my heart!

Featherdressing

25 June 2014

Settling in at Joyfallee, Theodora has encountered a niggling annoyance – namely the quality (or rather lack thereof) of the resident hairdressing service. Having requested a trim to enable her to see a little more of the world than just a flutter of feathers, she is less than impressed with the Grunge-meets-Punk-meets-Indian Mohawk look that has resulted. She has asked The Snork Maiden for directions to the local shops so that she can check out the competing talents of Laura Jane Hair and Glenorie Hair Design. She is planning to quiz them on their Make-a-Silkie-Chicken-Look-Like-a-Movie-Star abilities, and is rather hoping for a sleek Grace Kelly style.

New friends

21 May 2014

The Snork Maiden has been given pause to review her marketing strategies. Finding herself sadly alone, she resolved to rectify the situation by taking out an ad in the Hills Shire Times for companions to join her at Joyfallee. She is a little nonplussed by the respondents, most of whom seem to be either excessively spotty or excessively fluffy. In particular, Hildegard (von Joyfallee) and Theodora, in all their downy splendour, appear to had flapped straight off the pages of a Dr Seuss book. The Snork Maiden is not sure how she is going to construct a meaningful relationship with coop-mates who appear continually to be on the brink of bursting into a recitation of “I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them Sam-I-Am”.  …the less said about the response to her advertisement from a wandering black snake, the better. 

Too close for comfort

17 May 2014

Who knew chicken keeping could be life threatening? A simple clean out of the chicken house this afternoon turned into a major drama when, pulling out the straw, I came up close and personal (like about 3 inches of separation) with a black snake that had been, up to that moment, happily hiding in the bedding. 

Shocked beyond comprehension I exited the chicken house at lightening speed and shut the door. Thank you SO MUCH to my friendly knight in shining armour who galloped to my rescue (almost literally as he was on a horse on a trail in the bush when I phoned him!). When he arrived, complete with snake catching apparatus, he found that the snake had decided the excitement was too much for a Saturday afternoon and had vacated the premises. The chicken house has now been packed with wood, bricks and sand in an attempt to prevent a repeat visit…and I have almost stopped shaking. 

Tears

19 April 2014

There are too many fresh graves at Joyfallee. Anzac was fine in the morning, eating and bright, and found dead under bushes in the afternoon. 

My Morning

23 April 2014

Driving to work, spot lorikeet in the middle of the road. Stop to investigate, expecting to see a squashed body. Relieved to find a dazed and disoriented but otherwise undamaged little fellow. Pick him up and wrap him in a T-Shirt. Look up nearby vet hospital. Congratulate self on being able to do this on the Joyfallee iphone (borrowed for the day from Chocolate Bunny). Arrive at destination and unable to locate said vet hospital. Resort to phoning vet hospital for directions(again congratulating self on use of up-to-the-minute phone-number-finding technology). Arrive at vet hospital, that I have passed at least twice, with large sign outside saying “VET” (self-congratulations now not so forthcoming on ability to navigate in the modern world). Attempt to pick up Lorrie who, until this moment has been lying still and quiet, upon which Lorrie bursts into life, squawking and flapping and escapes inside the car. Spend next 10 minutes sideways, upside down and in other various ungainly positions trying to catch Lorrie, who manages to make his way up into small lorikeet-only accessible crevice amongst wires under the console. In attempt to catch Lorrie and not hurt him, manage to pull out tail feathers. Cry. Catch disgruntled Lorrie. Take Lorrie into vet hospital and explain that he did in fact, until quite recently, have a full complement of tail feathers and is not a “runner”. It is agreed he is probably dazed from flying into a car and is likely to make a full recovery and be released. Continue on to work…late…sigh. 

Adieu Radish

11 April 2014

The rain tonight echoes the tears washing over Joyfallee with the death of Radish-the-Resident-Chicken. I love the eccentric, entertaining and enduring being that you were and mourn your passing with all my heart. 

Vertically challenged

4 April 2014

While perusing the Sydney Royal Easter Show website, Chocolate Bunny was vexed to discover that certain carnival rides are subject to minimum height restrictions. Keen not to miss out on any of the fun, he is working hard on stretching himself to become as long as possible. 

Footy fans

20 March 2014

Having been alerted to the football season by a recent Facebook post, the chickens have stormed The Barricade and are demanding to be let into the “Big House” to watch the Friday night footy game featuring the Roosters. Sadly they have twigged to the fact that the Broncos are the opposing team, and have issued a written invitation to the horses, Will-O’-the-Wisp and Le Cadeau, to attend. Chocolate Bunny is happily rearranging the chairs in the sitting room to accommodate the additional two XL and three Xfeathery bottoms. 

Big night in

15 March 2014

In anticipation of an absorbing night of football viewing, Chocolate Bunny set himself up in front of the TV, complete with handy snacks to avoid having to trek to the fridge mid-game. Having naturally decided to cheer for the Rabbitohs, he was somewhat perplexed and more than a little disappointed to find that for the entire match not even one rabbit appeared. He is considering writing to Channel 9 to complain about false advertising and to the management of South Sydney to suggest that the inclusion of at least a few rabbits on the team may improve their performance.

Life is great!

12 March 2014

Being a creature of boundless optimism, Chocolate Bunny greets each morning as if it were Christmas…and is happy to share his excitement with any friendly feet that may be in the vicinity. 

Farmers

22 February 2014

Anzac and The Snork Maiden are very pleased with the results of their soil tilling. They are taking full credit for the current success of the veggie garden. The appearance of a bird net surrounding the veggie garden does, however, have them a little nonplussed. They have asked Radish if she will invest in some scissors on one of her forays to Woolies. 

Loving those morning TV ads

31 January 2014

Having been subjected to a surfeit of morning TV, Chocolate Bunny has become increasingly disturbed by the bombardment of advertisements for automatic vacuumers. As far as he can tell, none come with the “Avoid-Sucking-Up-a-Rabbit” attachment. In an effort to ward off the possibility of one of these machines making its way to Joyfallee, Choccy has volunteered to put his shoulder to the wheel (or, in this case, mouth to the carpet) and taken up vacuuming duties. 

Getting their claws dirty

18 January 2014

Having received an apology in quadruplicate for their unjustifiable confinement, Anzac and The Snork Maiden are now prepared to abandon their sit-in and take up some useful tasks around Joyfallee. In response to bribes of copious quantities of rolled oats, they have agreed to till the soil on the new veggie patch. They were also lured away from their sit-in by a desire to check out holiday brochures to Hawaii, which they are keenly perusing, egged on by suggestions they found while browsing facebook. 

Sit-in

12 January 2014

In protest at their confinement yesterday, Anzac and The Snork Maiden have staged a sit in. They refuse to do anything remotely resembling usefulness, such as turning over the new veggie patch or laying eggs. They are resolute that they will not be moved until they receive a full written apology in triplicate. Radish the Resident Chicken feels she is too old for such antics and has, instead, opted to put her claws up with a cocktail by the pool. 

And now, from stage left . . . . .

11 January 2014

Radish, The Snork Maiden and Anzac are less than pleased at being confined to barracks today. They see nothing wrong with their behaviour of yesterday afternoon, which saw them evading all the attempts of a deranged chicken wrangler (who shall remain nameless) to get them to come home early (to allow the chicken wrangler to go out to dinner). They quite enjoyed listening to, and ignoring, the chicken wrangler’s increasingly high pitched, cajoling, 5-acre cries of “here chick chick chickeny chick” etc etc. They were less enthused when the obviously mentally unhinged chicken wrangler resorted to pursuing them armed with a long pool scoop. Anzac in particular is nursing a bruised ego after having been captured by the aforementioned pool scoop. …Neighbours to Joyfallee continue to be treated to hours of free entertainment. 

Invisibility

9 January 2014

As a valued member of Radish’s Avian (et al) Army, Bruce the Bearded Dragon has been directed to practice his camouflage skills….he is proving to be a natural. So focused is he on the task at hand he refuses to move, even when prodded by a concerned Joyfalleean, checking to see if he is alive. 

Weather forecast

8 January 2014

The weather today – overcast with a light frosting of cockatoos. 

Radish loves the fierce flock of fighting cockatoos that she has enlisted to fight for her cause...although, in truth, they are proving to be a little more interested in eating than in actual wing to wing combat. Still, Radish takes heart from Napoleon Bonaparte's saying that "an army marches on its stomach"

Tales of derring-do

7 January 2014

Radish-the-Resident-Chicken is keen to share the story of her near death experience with anyone who will listen. Venturing too close to Will-O’-the-Wisp, in an attempt to snaffle up stray horse pellets at feed time, her foot became trapped under one of his rather large, and very heavy, feet. Willo remained blissfully unaware of her predicament, ignoring the squawks emanating from the ground below, and continued to munch on oblivious. It took the intervention of a human member of the Joyfallee clan to convince Willo that the world would be a much quieter place if he would just move his foot. Radish tells a rather different version at the end of the tale, describing how, single footedly, she took on the might of Will-O’-the-Wisp and won, by dint of unflinching valour combined with well aimed razor-sharp pecks, forcing her captor to retreat. Thankfully her only injury is a bruised toe, which she puts down to her strict fitness regime and diet, maintained in readiness for the defence of Joyfallee….although she is re-thinking the horse pellet component of her diet.

Terra Mystica

4 January 2014

 









Banished from the board game floor, Chocolate Bunny plans his attack from above – he estimates one swift bunny hop should see him land in the oh-so-inviting world of Terra Mystica, just in time to permanently rearrange (and dine on)  the well laid out pieces of the board-gaming enthusiasts. He views this as a health initiative to encourage them to take more exercise in the open air. 

Carrot overload

1 January 2014

Having gained access throughout the Christmas period to Willo’s stash of beta-carotene, Chocolate Bunny rather regrets his over indulgence. He is, therefore, starting the new year by working on his pilates moves. He’s having a bit of trouble with the big inflatable ball and is thinking of using the iphone to contact the pilates guru (Rebecca Ashton you know who you are) for some tips on how to avoid ending up upside down, pinned under said ball. 

Rare and unusual creatures

24 December 2013

The Christmas reindeer has made his annual and colourful pilgrimage to Joyfallee - hooray!!

In the driver's seat

17 December 2013

Chocolate Bunny decided that the home office management needed a revamp and set himself up to take over the reins. But once in the chair, he was immediately distracted by the thrills of internet surfing, found himself on a discount banana warehouse site, and ordered 6,000 tons of bananas to be delivered by express post. He is now excitedly checking the letter box at approximately 10 minute intervals. 

Christmas decorations

24 November 2014

In a shock of red and green, like Christmas sentinels, or decorations on a Christmas tree, a pair of king parrots arrive, alight and abseil down the branches to the holy grail of the seed assortment laid out for their pleasure. 

Friendship

10 December 2013

Chocolate Bunny is very taken with his new-found friend. He does, however, get the impression that his latest best mate may not be the sharpest tool in the shed. He has tried valiantly to teach him the basics of rabbit show jumping, to no avail. Choccy, being a rabbit of unbounded optimism, remains undaunted, and intends to try enticing his little buddy with the irresistible lure of banana, sure in the belief that this method cannot fail. We will watch the progress with interest. 

Farewell Mrs Beaut

26 November 2013

Today Joyfallee is veiled in tears. We have had to say goodbye to the 33 year old Mrs Beaut. Although her spirit was strong, her body could no longer keep up.

I will miss her unfailing greeting with a happy whinny and fluttering of nostrils.

I will miss the connection of a shared history that goes back to another time when we both were young.

I will miss her sweet, sweet nature.

I will miss her confirmed horror at my singing.

I will miss the latter years of her funny shuffling trot around the paddocks.

I will miss her squealing and foot stamping at Willo’s attention – confident in her belief that she was still beautiful in her old age. 

I will miss her.