Hollywood bound

29 October 2015

Le Cadeau admits to being more than a little disappointed that he failed to make it onto the walls of the Chicken Diaries Art Exhibition. In response he has been found of late working hard on his best Mr Ed impressions, in the hope of starring in films in lieu of on canvas. 

Socialising

18 October 2015

Lovely day at a dressage competition today – catching up with old friends and making some new ones. This chicken stopped by for an extended chin-wag (or, more accurately, beak-wag). 

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas

When it comes to Christmas wrapping, Chocolate Bunny can’t help himself and subjects all wrapping paraphernalia at Joyfallee to a rigorous quality control process. Attributes to be checked include strength, taste, bling factor and suitability for wrapping bananas. Extra points are awarded for cards with nativity scenes that prominently feature rabbits.

Australian ballet

13 October 2015

The Joyfallee cockatoos are not averse to a little interpretive dance if needs must. They are especially adept at the interpretive dance performed at a window to alert the occupier of the other side of the window to a dire emergency….such as an empty feed dish. They find it most effective where the dance is accompanied by meaningful stares, thus communicating the seriousness of the situation and the need for immediate remedial action – the usual result being a replenishment of the dwindling food supplies…..and an influx of about 250 of the interpretive dancer’s best friends.

2017 Chicken Diaries Calendar

Drumroll.....the much anticipated 2017 Chicken Diaries Calendar now available!! (...well, much anticipated at Joyfallee at least). 

Featuring the artwork of Fresh Arts.

Pack of 28 postcards of the paintings also available. 

Get your copies before they fly out the door (pun intended).

Cost:

Calendar: $25 AU plus postage

28 Postcards: $18 AU plus postage

All profits to the Royal Flying Doctor Service.

How to order:

Email:  manoah3@gmail.com 

Dotty

26 September 2015

Inspired by the spotted chickens, and their recent depictions in various art forms, Chocolate Bunny is trying out the polka dot look. He decided a makeover was a fitting way to celebrate International Rabbit Day. With their recent experiences of other special days, the residents of Joyfallee are grateful this one is passing with a minimum of fanfare.

Aaaaarrgh me hearties!

19 September 2015

Still reeling from the effects of Plover Appreciation Day the residents of Joyfallee are now struggling to deal with International Talk Like a Pirate Day. The Wonga pigeons have taken to this concept with gusto and have embarked on an endless chorus of “WONGAARRGH, WONGAARRGH, WONGAARRGH….”. This has seen Milky Way heading to Bunnings to collect a bulk order of high performance ear muffs. The Joyfalleeans have declared the pigeons to be “too piratey”. 

Plover lovers

16 September 2015

The residents of Joyfallee are all aflutter, having been alerted to the fact that today is Plover Appreciation Day http://birdlife.org.au/projects/beach-nesting-birds/plover-appreciation-day . The plovers have subsequently been demanding (in their endearing plovery style) that they be appreciated. The best the other residents have been able to come up with is the offer of an around-the-clock vigil to catch any eggs falling from the plover eyrie . 

The plovers (predictably) feel under-appreciated.

Regrets

12 September 2015

Will O’ the Wisp has been given pause to reflect on his behaviour of yesterday morning, which saw him walking TOWARDS and greeting The Dressage Rider when she came to collect him for their morning workout, instead of rapidly retreating down the paddock in an effort to remain undetected. He acknowledges he was lured in by the long, orange object being wielded aloft by The Dressage Rider, and has made a mental note that he must not cave in to the urges of his beta-carotene habit in the future. As for The Dressage Rider, Willo is happy to leave her to dwell in her fantasy world, wherein she believes that Willo came up to her because he loves her. 

Too much pigeon is never enough

5 September 2015

Having heard that the anti-pigeon sentiments at Joyfallee have softened somewhat of late, a Wonga pigeon came a’visiting. The enthusiastic call of the Wonga pigeon has been described in the literature as “monotonous” (think a relentless “WONG WONG WONG WONG WONG WONG WONG” delivered in monotone with no discernible pause for drawing breath). The visiting pigeon is prone to strike up a hearty rendition of the song of his people in the wee small hours of the morning. Those residents of Joyfallee prone to insomnia have alternatively described the call as “incredibly annoying”. They have been drawn inexorably to the conclusion that it is “too pigeoney”. 

Visitors

30 August 2015

Chocolate Bunny invited the Veggie Garden Burrower in for afternoon tea. As high teas go, the VGB was suitably impressed. She noted that it was a bit light on in the scones and cucumber sandwiches department, but that this was more than made up for by the variety and abundance of flowers, all delivered with the discerning bunny palate in mind.  

She politely did not mention that the choice of background sound detracted a little from the ambience. 

  

Self-Sufficiency. . . . not

28 August 2015

The demise of the Joyfallee veggie garden is almost complete. Having been relegated almost entirely to growing very large thistles and very tiny strawberries exclusively for the enjoyment of Chocolate Bunny, it has now become home to one of Choccy’s free-ranging feral friends. This burrower seems uninfluenced by the current above-ground dwelling propensity at Joyfallee. It is to be hoped that the plovers do not decide forsake their rooftop abode and take up burrow dwelling– as the veggie patch may become unapproachable without heavy-duty earmuffs.

Holiday tales

13 August 2015

As is normally the case for those returning from holidays, Chocolate Bunny has had to catch up on some washing. His pilgrimage to the Heart of the Golden West was all he had hoped for and more. As is his wont, he excitedly recounted his exploits, for the benefit of the chickens, virtually without drawing breath – no mean feat for an asthmatic rabbit. He described in minute detail every aspect of his trip. The highlight was a visit from an artist who had been inspired to paint him atop a mound of Easter eggs (Choccy refrained from telling her that whilst he very much liked the painting, he would have preferred to be placed amidst a mountain of bananas).

With their new, kindly, communal way of life, the chickens listened politely until their eyes glazed over and their combs drooped . At the point where Choccy brandished the i-phone to show pictures of his meals that he hadn’t got around to posting on Facebook (think views of parsley and basil at various jaunty angles),  they were forced to find excuses to leave - such as a pressing need to go and moult. It took Choccy some hours of rabbiting on to notice that he had an audience of approximately none. 

Have rabbit - will travel

6 August 15

Having made the trek to Dubbo, Chocolate Bunny is very excited to be enjoying his first ever sleep-over.

Getting older

2 August 2015

Will-O’-the-Wisp has heard the news about the new compulsory retirement age for racehorses of 13 years. With his 13^th birthday looming, he is trying to find the online form to submit for “Change of occupation from dressage horse to racehorse”. 

Rio 2016

The plovers are outraged that to date, the Channel 7 coverage of the Rio Olympics has totally failed to show any of their favourite sport - Insult Hurling. In retaliation they are to be seen (and heard) at all hours of the day and night yelling at the TV and the Channel 7 App, so far to no avail. Even if not successful in their bid to view the elite of aspersion casting, they figure their efforts should stand them in good stead as front runners for this event at Tokyo in 2020.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

29 July 2015

Things have been rather quiet at Joyfallee of late, which has given Hildegard von Joyfallee some time to catch up on a few philosophy texts. Prompted by the writings of Sartre and Camus she has been led to ponder the great existential question “Why am I a chicken?”. Perhaps somewhat swayed by the French influence, to date the best answer she has formulated is “Because I am not a baguette”.

She has attempted to engage her chicken comrades in this philosophical mind game with limited success. They seem largely more interested in questions like “Where is the oat cup?” and “What time is breakfast?” Hildegard has yet to turn her intellectual interrogation to the issue of chickens and their reasons for traversing roads.

Celebrity

10 July 2015 

Chocolate Bunny’s excitement levels have reached fever pitch with the news that he is to travel to Dubbo for the forthcoming Fresh Arts Chicken Diaries Art Exhibition. His state of health has meant that staying home at Joyfallee is not an option, as he is having trouble using his Aero-Bun inhaler by himself. He can barely wait to see the varying artistic  depictions of a certain brown rabbit. It would seem, however, that even bunnies possessed of Choccy’s heightened degrees of enthusiasm, need to stop and rest on occasion. 

Home comforts

7 July 2015

Discovering that above-ground dwelling is not quite as comfortable as he had been led to believe, Chocolate Bunny has undertaken a spot of renovating…. operating under the premise that you can never have too much carpeting.  

High rise living

4 July 2015

Chocolate Bunny has been heavily influenced by the latest craze sweeping Joyfallee for above-ground dwelling. 

Premium real estate

1 July 2015

The Joyfallee plovers have taken advantage of the hot Sydney property market and sold up and moved to an upgraded location. In so doing, they have maintained their steadfast commitment to above-ground dwelling. The added bonus for them is a whole new immediate neighbourhood at which to hurl abuse.

Making do

19 June 2015

Having been ousted from their possie on the stable roof by the plovers, the Indian mynas have taken up the next best above-ground option (which they are pleased to discover comes with under-floor heating) . 

Rooftop eyrie

15 June 2015

The descriptive term of “ground dweller”, as applied to the Masked Lapwing, is a concept that seems entirely lost on the plovers of Joyfallee. They are less than impressed with the current communal arrangements instigated by Milky Way, being more of the “What’s mine is mine, and what’s yours is mine” persuasion. So in an effort to get as far away from their chicken comrades as possible, they have taken to roof dwelling. From their lofty heights they hurl insults (mostly gleaned from watching Monty Python reruns - like “Your mother was a hamster!”) at anyone who will listen….or anyone really passing within about a 3 kilometre radius of their roof. The other residents are watching with interest, and a little trepidation, the outcome when plover eggs are laid on the slippery slope of the stable roof. They also hope any successful hatchings result in baby plovers that are adept at flying from a very young age. 

Size does matter?

7 June 2015

In support of the common cause of the Joyfallee commune, Theodora has put all her efforts into egg laying. This has left no time for other activities, with predictably disastrous results in the feather coiffure department. The total outcome of this concentrated effort is one 22 gram egg. Her comrades are tactfully not mentioning that this is possibly the smallest chicken egg in history and will do little in terms of stocking the communal larder. 

Discrimination

5 June 2015

Chocolate Bunny has penned a letter of high dudgeon to the Anti-Discrimination Board of NSW. His current medication involves the use of a special inhaler. He has been forced to use the Aero-Dawg inhaler, as the company that makes these also makes Aero-Kat inhalers, but nary an Aero-Bun inhaler is to be found. Choccy has made the point to the Board that this rampant anti-Oryctolagus cuniculus speciesism should not be tolerated. He has helpfully suggested in his letter that when an Aero-Bun inhaler is developed, it could include an essence of banana scent to improve the holistic rabbit experience in using this apparatus. 

Study trip to Cuba

26 May 2015

Photo courtesy Comrade Claire

Report filed by Comrade Claire on her return from a mission to Cuba:

I am pleased to report that I have held high-level talks with several of Milky Way's bretheren in Cuba. The details of the sensitive information I have uncovered has of course been sent via carrier pigeon to avoid it falling into the wrong hands.

Clearly, our Cuban friends are far more advanced in their reverence of our feathered friends - as can be seen by the fine sculpture paying homage in one of the most prestigious squares in Havana...

Proud to be of service - larga vida a la revolución!

Response from Joyfallee:

Comrade Claire – Milky Way is so very impressed with your outstanding service! The information gleaned will be invaluable in furthering the functioning of the Chicken Commune at Joyfallee. In recognition of your efforts, Milky Way wants to honour you with the inaugural “Chickeny Order of Valour”, which will naturally consist of an ornate feathery arrangement. She trusts you will wear it with pride.

….the visual intelligence gathered would indicate that, in some communes at least, chickens are enlisted for dressage duties. Milky Way and her comrades are considering this information with some trepidation, given the reports from Willo on his take on life as a dressage participant.

How to Make a Chicken Salad
Painting by Sandy Gaffney

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZhTb3_ryJM

Exaggerated (social) media reports

27 May 2015

Chocolate Bunny would like to set straight the rumours be believes are whirling around social media:- Yes, when visiting his rabbity specialist he did leap wildly into the arms of his housemate who had accompanied him on the visit. Yes, he did then proceed to cling, Velcro-like, to his housemate for the entire duration of the consultation. No, this does not mean that he has changed his lifelong objection to being picked up.  

Choccy wants it known that the leap was carried out during a momentary lapse of concentration due to the stress of the situation. He only continued to stay in the arms of his housemate because once up there he discovered, from this heightened vantage point, that he could better hear the instructions of his specialist. He wants it made clear that this does not give licence for all and sundry potential rabbit-picker-upperers who may be passing Joyfallee, to call in, in the anticipation of a positive reception from the resident bunny. Such opportunistic RPUs are bound for bitter disappointment. 

A rabbit's work is never done

23 May 2015

Despite being very poorly, Chocolate Bunny displays his excellent work ethic, insisting on engaging in a spot of clothes washing. The clothes washee is grateful to be saving on laundry bills. 

Communal lifestyle

8 May 2015

In the wake of the sad and untimely loss of Princess Sparkles, Milky Way is undertaking a bold new social experiment – the Chicken Commune – in which all chickens are equal. She has refused to assume the role of Top Chook and instead has taken to addressing her chickeny friends as “comrade”. She is avidly reading “Quotations from Chairman Mao Tse-tung” and is additionally organising a study trip to Cuba. The other commune members are quite happy with the new arrangements, although the silkies, Theodora and Hildegarde, do wonder if some chickens are more equal than others, on the regular occasions they are trampled in the rush for chicken treats. Milky Way suggests  that their views should not be coloured by their recent perusal of Orwell’s “Animal Farm”. She explains that the larger commune members cannot be blamed for failing to notice their more vertically challenged comrades in the excitement of the moment, and helpfully suggests they check online for  hi-vis jackets in size XXXXXXXXXXXXS. 

Joy

3 May 2015

Happiness is the sound and sight of sick bunny eating…sometimes it’s the simple things that yield the greatest joy.

Did someone mention the ‘S’ word?

24 April 2015

Chocolate Bunny is ecstatic that another trip to the specialist bunny vet has resulted in a prescription for more tablets to be delivered by..drumroll…sultanas! He loves this rabbity doctor and thinks the prescription could only be improved by changing the delivery medium to bananas. In light of the increased delivery of sultanas, he has almost forgiven his rabbit-focussed doctor for his predilection for tipping bunnies onto their backs and taking close up looks at areas that rarely see the light of day.

Motivation

23 April 2015

I may have the only horse in the world who works better in cyclonic conditions. With gale force winds howling and the rain sheeting down, Willo was uncharacteristically energetic in the dressage arena…today not so much.

Princess Sparkles

14 April 2015

Princess Sparkles’ bright and all-too-briefly shining lights have forever been extinguished. 

In sickness and in health

10 April 2015

As I looked out my window yesterday, there was one less chicken scratching around in the sun. Princess Sparkles was in the chicken hospital, fighting to hang on to life. She had a severe tracheal obstruction which left her gasping for air and her comb turning blue. After x-rays, a tube was inserted into an air sac to help her breathe, along with other treatment, but her Chicken Vet did not hold out much hope for her surviving.

Today, miracle of miracles, she is bright and eating and home (albeit with a wheeze and the breathing tube still in place). The Chicken Vet warned that she may lose her Top Chook position while she convalesces, but Princess Sparkles is made of sterner stuff. She has been happily pecking her chicken mates when they eat too much of her special treats designed to aid her recovery. We at Joyfallee are very happy (the happiness level of some residents being somewhat influenced by their access to chicken treats). 

Home is where the heart is

25 March 2015

Chocolate Bunny quite likes his new sign, but suggests it would more appropriately be placed on the front door of the Joyfallee house. 

Lateral thinker

21 March 2015

Hildegarde von Joyfallee is putting her skills learnt while practising to be a chicken spy to good use. She often manages to remain unobserved by her friends to scoff up the random pile of oats that descends on occasion from the heavens, thus avoiding the melee over the more obvious oats in a cup (a tussle from which she inevitably emerges the loser). To assist in her task she whispers a mantra that she is rather proud to have invented, lending heavily on ideas she picked up while reading about Arya in The Game of Thrones: “Black as a shadow, still as a salad sandwich, quiet as a feather duster”. 

Her invisibility-cloak-like ability doesn’t always stand her in good stead, however, and oftentimes sees her being trampled in a rush of chicken feet when the oat cup is emptied and the oat pile discovered.

Decor

6 March 2015

For the very latest in décor, it’s hard to go past the rabbit cushion as a must-have, up-to-the-minute lounge accessory. Rumour has it that contestants on the Block have snapped these up for their secret weapon room reveals. 

Top Brass

1 March 2015

The newly self-appointed CEO has declared Joyfallee a Banana Republic. He is not quite up to speed with the meaning of the term, but firmly believes that anything involving bananas has to be good.

Manager in the making

28 February 2015

Chocolate Bunny loves to lend a paw in the Home Office. Yesterday he took on the job of lying under the desk and catching up on some Zzzzs for the team. At this point in time his upcoming performance review is looking shaky. 

The Prodigal Chicken

19 February 2015

Joyfallee is wreathed in smiles today - that which was lost is found. Yesterday Etoile Filante failed to report to barracks for the evening roll call. One of the residents of Joyfallee was to be found far into the night fruitlessly, and increasingly mournfully, searching and calling for the errant Etoile. The worst was feared and it appeared Etoile may have lived up to her name (shooting star), with a bright and glittery, but much too short, life. The above mentioned Joyfallee resident was again out at first light, this time looking for feathers with a heavy heart. You will imagine, gentle reader, the surprise and joy that greeted the appearance of the AWOL Etoile Filante, feathers in situ and unruffled, at the chicken house door, looking for breakfast. Etoile has remained tight-beaked about her overnight escapades, but, given the paucity of eggs at Joyfallee, the involvement of an illicit egg-exchange racket is not beyond the bounds of possibility. 

The Ghost of Chickens Passed

7 February 2015

“It was a dark and stormy night”…and Princess Sparkles was regaling the other chickens with tales handed down (or more accurately clawed down) from chicken to chicken. She was keeping them enthralled with the story of Lucy-Falcon-Chicken – so named for her penchant for perching on the nearest falconer’s arm. From here, as legend has it, she would launch herself into space and fly for a distance of at least 6 inches before plummeting to earth in a flail of flapping wings, guaranteed to capture any airborne creatures unwise enough to remain in her path. On hearing this tale of derring-do Hildegard began to wonder if she should give up her ambitions to be a chicken spy and take up a more lofty calling -  although she envisioned she might need the aid of a step ladder to reach the arms of any passing falconers.  

Cleanliness is next to rabbityness

31 January 2015

Despite the presence of a perfectly good dishwasher at Joyfallee, Chocolate Bunny insists that there is a place for cleaning plates the Old-Fashioned-Way. 

Volunteering

29 January 2015

Chocolate Bunny decided that the Worker in the Home Office today was in need of some rabbity help and was quick to hop into the breach (or in this case more literally onto the breeches). He was somewhat nonplussed that the Worker’s display of gratitude for his voluntary assistance was, to all intents and purposes, non-existent. 

Make-up mystery

8 January 2015

Noticing a mark on Will-O’-the-Wisp’s nose I inspect it, only to discover it is pink lipstick….who on earth has been kissing my horse??....Oh yes, that would be me. 

The spy who clucked at me

24 January 2015

Hildegard von Joyfallee is rather pleased to have discovered the “Chicken Impossible” ringtone (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIeJKbR3LN0 ) and has duly downloaded it to the Joyfallee iphone. She has subsequently taken up darting from bush to bush while clucking “Chicken Impossible” with the notion of practising to be a chicken spy. In response to this, Princess Sparkles has suggested, somewhat unkindly, that she should take herself back to the pages of the Dr Seuss book from whence she came.